The internet has been stunned after a man slammed his girlfriend’s ‘work ethic’ as she struggles with her mental health.
Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man with the anonymous username u/Lazy_Education_7228 shared his story for the “AITA” community to share their judgments.
The original poster began his story by explaining that he and his girlfriend had been together for four years. When he met her, he wrote that she worked long hours and earned more than him, one of the reasons he loved her. He described her as “very driven and motivated” and that she inspired him.
Unfortunately, due to family issues, she had mental health issues. He explained that she did manual labor and had cut her working hours by more than half. Also, a stress injury can burst when stressed.
“She’s been through this bad time, but she’s completely lost her motivation and is focusing more on ‘better mental health’ while only working part-time,” he said. “I’ve never seen anyone do this, none of my friends are doing it and she’s completely lost her work ethic. It makes me worry if she was going to be the mother of my kids because she’s completely lost. any motivation because of her issues. I’m afraid she might if we were to have kids together, and in life, things happen and you have to keep persevering.”
When the OP confronted her about it, she argued that she was paying “half” of everything and that her decision did not affect her financially. She said she said he should encourage her to “do what makes her happy”. Even after their fight, he still feels “irritated and disappointed” that she’s lost her drive and work ethic.
Newsweek contacted the OP for comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.
What can a significant other do to help their partner through difficult times?
Martha Teater, a licensed marriage and family therapist, suggested Newsweek that a significant other encourages their partner to seek treatment for their mental health issues in order to show care and support.
Kristen Souza, a licensed mental health counselor, said Newsweek“If you are in a relationship with someone with anxiety, it is important that you educate yourself about the disorder. Talk to your partner and try to understand their triggers so you can offer support! The last thing someone anxious person needs to hear is ‘relax’ or ‘it’s okay'”.
Sandra Calzadilla, a licensed mental health counselor, agreed, recounting Newsweek,”It’s very comforting when a partner can accept that their partner is going through a difficult time and not tell them how they should feel while helping to identify false beliefs that may be contributing to their anxiety.”
“[You’re the a**hole]. She’s trying to take care of herself and you’re being selfish,” u/thatwavyhairedchica said, receiving top comment with over 17,000 upvotes.
U/Sweetsenkai questioned, “[You’re the a**hole]. Reread what you have just written. She was exhausted, in a bad mental state and she even [physical] pain from what she does. After spending a lot of time devoting herself to work, she decided to focus on her own happiness, and it didn’t even weigh on your finances, and you’re complaining about that? Would you rather have her working harder but being miserable than trying to be happier and healthier?”
“[You’re the a**hole] and don’t worry..you will most likely be single soon and you won’t have to worry about her…The fact that you are still okay financially and that has no effect on you.. makes your insensitivity towards your [girlfriend] even worse,” u/Still_Storm7432 wrote.
“You’re the biggest asshole I’ve had the displeasure of [of] Evaluation [a**hole] in a moment. You don’t deserve your [girlfriend] and I hope she realizes this before she makes a lifelong commitment to you,” u/Ophelialoves exclaimed.
Have you noticed any red flags that caused you to end a relationship? Let us know via email@example.com. We can ask experts for advice and your story could be published on Newsweek.
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